In my time, In my war - I saw too many die.

Friend and foe. Some by me, and others at my side.

Oh the pain... was so great, but yet no time to cry,

For the tears, just water... I knew that I could hide.

In my mind, tears could wait - would only cloud my view.

So I stood, as men fell - with tears that did not flow.

As time passed, and years went - the drought remained it's true.

I stood tall, played the role... Emotions did not show.

I never did feel the pain, hidden so deep inside.

I never did feel the pain, and dared not question why.

Then one day, listened in - heard my heart was annoyed.

"Don't leave me! I'm too good. I, too, a role to play."

"Let me speak! Let me yell! You've kept me in a void."

"Let my tears, gone so long, say what they have to say."

With this thought - dropped my guard. Inside, began to cry.

My throat tight, heart racing, noticed my knees were weak.

The tears welled. One got loose. With haste I wiped it dry.

Fought the next (with success), the third ran down my cheek.

I finally felt the pain, hidden so deep inside.

I finally felt the pain, and hoped it was Okay.

Strange they felt, warm and wet. My heart called out to me.

"Yes, It's strange, pain so deep. I know you must be scared."

"Thank you so. You did well. To let your tears run free."

"Takes such strength. Courage too! To show how much you cared."

With this thought, I sat still, and watched them hit the floor.

As they did, reached inside, and let my heart feel free.

Tears still flow. They still fall. Thank God there are some more.

Sensations... Hid so long... A precious part of me.

I finally felt the pain, hidden so deep inside.

I finally felt the pain and felt it was Okay.

Yes, it hurts. Oh so much. Tears so thick - could not see.

Would they stop? Would they stop? I truly did not know.

"Let them flow! Let them flow!" My heart reminded me.

"They need to. They need to... If you still want to grow."

It's a fact. It's the truth. Something I shouldn't hide.

Learned a lot. That is true - Needed to feel the soul.

It's a fact. It's the truth. Something once hurt inside.

Pain remains. That is true - But now I feel I'm whole.

I finally felt the pain and, "Yes, it was Okay."

I FINALLY FEEL THE PAIN AND, "YES, IT IS OKAY."

RICHARD A. CRAWLEY (© 1989)

"BLUEGHOST GREEN" F/8 '70-'71