THE CALHOUN COUNTY DAILY TIMES

(Under New Management)

Headline: Clowning Around

Article 1 = Blue Belle Farms adds big tank

Article 2 = Local robots plan to invade Universe

Article 3 = Hodges post monster year for blue nights

Article 4 = Authorities are saying something

Article 5 = Boy left in towed car

Article 1 - Blue Ball Farms adds 2 big tanker trucks.  Local dairy farmer, Matt Carter, Staff writer for the CC Blue Ball times, says tanks were installed two years ago.  Installation allows production of two new lines - strawberry milk from pink cows, and chocolate milk from brown and white cows.

Article 2 - Local Robots plan to invade university, local university, that is to say.  Dairy Farmer Matthew Courter, staff writer for the CCD Times says:  "Both kinds will make you crazy."  But then, what does he know?  He is just a dairy farmer, the local coroner and deputy sheriff.  Well, he is a little bit "Looney Toons." Don't laugh -- just recall the big flood of ought four, 2004, that is.

      The new "news" is the local CCHS students will be editing and proofreading this here local paper - the one with all the news that is news.  That is to say, all the news, all the time.  Well, shoot, we are the only newspaper in town.

Article 3 - Hedges pass monster gas this year for those blues-filled lonely nights.

Article 4 - ASS Authorities say someone, somewhere, somehow left a car in the road.  When the "lost and found" found it there was an 8 year old boy asleep on the back seat.  So they towed the car, boy and all, to the county impound lot at Homer's Auto Salvage.

Article 5 - So sorry, dear readers, I just knocked over a full cup of hot coffee on Article 5, so there will be no article 5 today.

© 20 May 2009 Karen M. Rice