My old junk car and I are sittin’ out here by the curb

It broke down and stranded me in this damn ‘Burb

Been sittin’ here for a while, an eternity I’d guess

‘Course I may be reactin’ to the goddamned stress.

Damn cell phone ran out of juice a long time ago

Nobody answered anyway, not one soul I’d know

They couldn’t find me here anyway, if I could tell

Just where it is I’m stranded in this suburban Hell.

I followed the instructions written on the envelope

I never anticipated they were written by a dope

Directionless, without a sign in sight, I am lookin’ for

“A place to turn after the third of whatever is next door”

All at once from underneath the barrier of the hood

Squealing and squawling, I knew it meant no good

With smoke and steaming accompaniment, it’s tune

Spelled out that I’d be waiting here probably until June.

Hark, I see some red lights coming in the distance

Could it be a tow truck to save me in this instance?

But it gets closer and I can see, it’s not what I hoped

It is the Police and my car and I have been scoped.

No Parking in a School Zone is what the ticket read

And Littering and Dumping Junk, to fill me with dread

He could have written more he said as he drove away

Just for me to be glad that it was Doughnut Sale Day.

So if in the future, you happen to pass by this way

If you can’t stop to help me get back on the highway

Could you at least tell my family of all my misdeeds

And tell my wife she can take off her widow’s weeds.

The damn car won’t ever move again in this life I fear

It hauled me all around until it dumped me out here

So I have a pledge I’ll swear to for every live long day

No matter how cheap I’ll not ever again buy a Chevrolet.