IN MY DREAMS

What kind of life is this I am forced to live,

Yearning to hear a friendly “Welcome home”

Didn’t I give all in me that I had left to give

All I got in return was this damned syndrome.

I watched the others with their far off eyes

Smiling and nodding, while inside the pain

Swallowed up most of their fearful cries

While in their hearts the tears fell like rain.

A noise so sudden behind me makes me start

My nerves are jangled, my stomach is upset

I would have to get much better to fall apart

And I‘m wondering why I haven’t done so yet.

What did I do wrong, just what is my crime

That makes me such a resented, hateful thing

I should be a soldier who is just in his prime

And not be lashed by those words that sting.

Maybe I should‘ve stayed with those back there

And found my way home in a black zippered bag

Than to hear those people curse at me and swear

Words that sicken me and make me want to gag.

The only real peace I will ever know it seems

Will come in the embrace of old Mother Earth

There I can have all of my fantasy of dreams

And pretend I am something of some worth.

© Spider ‘09