I have been extremely lucky in life. I did not have parents that were of any use to me, or perhaps it was that I was of no use to them. I did however, over the years, have one Dad (Archie) whom I have told you about, and one mom (Miss Carrie Lee) that I will tell you about now. As life would go both have passed on to their rewards, which I am sure, will be great.

I first met Mom when I stopped by to visit a girlfriend in IL after completing some work. I often stopped by to see her for a few days before I had to move on. This time I arrived at about 7 in the morning and discovered that her mother had come to visit her. The greeting I received was not the standard “How are you? How long will you be here?” but instead was, “I have to go to work this is my mother and we have to go to a funeral tomorrow.”  With that she left and went to her job as a schoolteacher.

I took a deep breath, introduced myself to her mother, had a cup of coffee, and lay down on the couch to get some sleep as I had been on the road all night. Under normal conditions this would have worked out well; I would have slept for a few hours and then, when my girlfriend came home, I would have had a cup or two of coffee and been alert and alive.

This was not normal circumstances though; Miss Carrie Lee came over about every 10 minutes, poked me in the arm and asked if there was anything she could do for me. After three hours of this I decided to get up and drink some coffee in hopes of making myself at least a bit more alert than I had been.

My friend came home from school and we all got in her car to drive to KY and the funeral. Now, bear in mind I had not met any of her family until this point, and going to a funeral was the last thing I wanted to do. but then you have never dealt with Miss Carrie Lee either.

On the way to KY we stopped at a Hardees to get something to eat and when we had finished eating it had started to rain. Hard. My girlfriend suggested that I go bring the car up to the door so she and Miss Carrie Lee would not get wet going to it. Miss Carrie Lee looked at my girl friend, snorted and told her that if any one should go get the car in the rain it should be her as I had driven all night and not gotten a lot of sleep and we still had a long way to drive.

This was the tone that was set with Mom and me from the beginning. There never was an I love you because you are going with my daughter, but it was from the first, I love you because you are you.

I went to the funeral (Uncle Bruce had been mowing the lower 40 and the tractor had turned over on him. By the time he was discovered he was gone). It was the first funeral I went to with the family but was not the last. Before Mom passed away all of her brothers had also gone ahead of her (5 in number)

We were sitting in the house waiting for those that were coming to give Mom their condolences when it was brought to Mom’s attention that the Methodists had been taking the pies to Aunt Jane’s house (Uncle Bruce’s widow). Mom made it a point to mention that those dang Methodists were not going to get any more of her money if they were going to short her on the funeral pies.

If Mom taught me anything it was that death was a natural thing and it was all right to have fun at a funeral. I managed to until the day we received a call from my girlfriend’s sister telling us that Mom was “gone.” Mom had an earache and had been checked into the hospital. My girlfriend’s sister had spent the night with her and called us to tell us that Mom was in the hospital. The sister was going to go home and change and come back and get her. In the time that the sister had gone home and changed and come back to get Mom, she had “gone.”

Not being familiar with the term “Gone” I had asked how they could loose Mom in the hospital and what they were doing to find her. It was then I was asked if I was sitting down and told that “Gone,” means no longer with us. I stared at the phone. I didn't want to tell my girlfriend and I didn't want to accept it. Why just moments before I had heard her tell the nurse that no one had given her a bath in 90 years and no one was going to start now.

I managed to last through the visitation. I was a tower of strength to my girlfriend and the rest of the family until they closed to coffin. Then I fell apart. The funeral itself was a blur of tears and the drive to the cemetery was also. I have no idea how I made it. Mom was laid to rest among the rest of her family: her brothers that had gone on before and two of her children that had gone an also, and next to her husband that had gone on 40 years before her.

Every now and then I take a trip to the graveyard to see Mom. The last time I was there I discovered that my girlfriend had taken a spot next to Mom, and was sad. But I can’t look at Mom’s grave without a tear coming to my eyes and not remember that she gave me what a mother should give: Unconditional Love.

RIP Miss Carrie Lee. You are missed.