Thanks to Leigh and Rogue: My Teaching

Thank you for your comments and responses to my story. It's not easy, but I am learning to open up more. No, parents shouldn't have sex with kids; that’s really not good. Nor with any other person that forces that on anybody. Fortunately, my parents did not do that sort of stuff. Unfortunately, though, they did not know of it until some time in my therapy process. They said tho, that looking back into my growing up, the signs were there, they just didn't really know what to do or whatever. They know of 2 of the family members that were the perpetrators, they don't really know of the others. It is hard on my parents, they want to be supportive, and at the same time, it pains them greatly. So, we don't talk about it anymore. They know I go to counseling, though. And I have made some gains from it.

I have had a hard time seeing myself as a good person, even though intellectually I know I am. I am learning to take compliments without thinking the usual "If you really knew who I am, you would not think I am good" -- it's hard. But I am learning.

As far as my teaching career, I am getting ready to start my 26th year of teaching special education to grade levels k-6. I work with the learning disabled, mildly retarded, emotionally disturbed, and some with other health impairments that affect learning. At first, I balked with combining these in one room. But, now, I try to put them in groups of where they are learning. I have mixed views on mainstreaming, Some kids can do much better in the regular class setting if their teacher is real supportive and modifies the curriculum to help the student. And then there are some kids who are really struggling and mainstreaming is not very good for them.

I really hate the "no child left behind" act. It is a great disservice to these kids, as well as underprivileged kids all over. I hate the fact that I have to teach my students the test as opposed to teaching them the skills they need and on their functioning level, not on the grade level. Many of my students panic and really will not try on those tests, just mark any answer, and if they happen to guess right, that doesn't prove they really know the info. It also takes away from the fun of teaching when one must focus on the reading and math on grade level. For instance, having a 6th grade student being forced to take the 6th grade level state standardized test on 6th grade level--when reading on a first grade level. Same for math and spelling,

 Handwriting, and English, along with science and social studies, have not been taught more thoroughly, they are not deemed to be just as important as reading and math. It is a shame, a big shame. I had a first grader who couldn’t even do much of kindergarten work, and to take first grade tests, it was a nightmare. I really don’t like that part of my job now. Although, I am not one to just get my kids to get by either. I do have high expectations, and sometimes I have to back off when they get so frustrated. I always tell my students to keep trying, even if they have to stay in their regular classes for other subjects; I tell them to try and do the work. To say they are lab kids is not an excuse! And they know, if I find out they try that with their regular teachers, i make it a point to go to their regular classes and tell them aloud, that is not a good excuse to not work.

I truly believe, that we all learn differently, and to have lab if necessary to help with their disability, then it’s ok. That is really a must in letting these kids understand that. Many think they are dumb; it helps to show them that they are not. They are very intelligent; it’s just parts of their brain is not working as well as others. Then I say, if you lost your writing hand, and had to learn to use the other one, it would slow you down, but does it make you dumb? Then that helps.

When i had my stroke in 2000, I had to take speech therapy 3 times a week for a while. I understood more fully what goes through a child who stutters, or can't process the vocabulary needed to converse. I told my students too, and I asked them, am I dumb because I lost that ability to communicate more readily?

It helps them reason, they are not dumb. And of course, reading some good books to them of other kids that go through the same helps too. My Kiowa name is: MahTameDayAnttAhGyah  meaning: Teachings are very good. I received that name when I was 11, from my paternal grandmother after she died. She was a teacher too. I never thought I would grow up to be a teacher. I wanted to be an artist.

But, in college, I had a horrible art teacher that helped me become disillusioned on my art work. Feelings of self-worth went down the drain rapidly, and not a good artist, I changed to education, then after working with some friend's son-- who had Down’s Syndrome-- I changed to Special Education. I know these kids can learn, if they have the proper people who give a hoot on teaching them. They make progressive gains; sometimes it is hard to really see, but they do, only on their time. Not according to state or federal laws that say all children can function on grade level by some short time frame.

i started teaching, though, because we needed money; it was suppose to be temporary work. And well, I am still doing "temporary" work. But, it has good benefits, and i get most of summer off, along with other vacation time. I can't complain. But, it is hard to go back when i have had a good summer, like this one. I go back on Thursday, and I haven’t even gone to my room to start setting it up yet.

The heat is in the triple digits here, makes me want to stay inside and be lazy. LOL. I have some stuff in my garage that needs to be taken there, but it is so hot. Our school has a/c. I hope my room's air works, last year, it didn’t, and it got so hot. I am on the third floor.

Well, that's all for now.

© 14 August 2007 by Melanie Campos