Hanging on your every word, afraid to close my eyes one moment

    needing to feel love surround me, tasting bitter tears of hanging on.

    Silent seconds ticking by, I cannot help but count each in my mind

    my heart keeping time , the beat so slow and unsteady.

    Tongue tripping over thoughts unspoken, to scrambled to be uttered

    tearing holes in my spirit, straining to keep from screaming.

    Waiting for the clouds to break, the cooling rain to bring relief

    throat burning, swollen, not daring to begin, knowing there would be no end.

    I want,  no need, to stand in that cleansing wet, and let it go

    wash away the hurt, the ripping pain that won't turn loose.

    There is no other way, no saving grace, not this time

    what Creator has decreed, will be done, the Circle turns.

    As the beauty of spring, greens our Mother Earth around me

    it only reminds that seasons change, cannot be denied their cycles.

    Bleak instead of heartening, lonely, instead of happy

    there will be no joyful renewing, only a sad farewell and crying.

    My memory seeks a time more happy, when smiles seemed unending

    teasing laughter and flirting, not this terrifying rending.

    No, life offers no promise, that only good will be encountered

    sweet roses and daffodils growing, honeysuckle scenting the air around us.

    Gentle days of forever, are not what this year’s Robin heralds

    but the truth of ever after, is that farewells are necessary.

    My final prayers will go unheeded, drowned in the tears I am bleeding

    sing with me precious feathered, circle dance my message.

    Take my despair into Father Sky; lift it to the winds to be healed

    let the lightning flash my fury, the thunder roar my pain and helplessness.

    Creator bring the rains, darken the skies in mourning

    allow me the waters, hide me there to spend my screaming.

    A loved one walks on soon, into the West, that final journey

    ancestors I am pleading, meet him at the Long Person.

    Sing that life song loudly, light the way with caring

    though I, am unworthy to be asking, all that I am, I offer.

    Great Creator hear my humble prayers, grandmothers be my cradle

    let me grieve this moment, then once more, I will lift my burden, and walk on tomorrow!

    Granny

© Sheila Williams