Ok,
Woody, this is my theory. In the dawn of mankind the first cave
baker accidentally dropped his nuts and some honey and berries in a
pot of coarse ground grains that he was preparing to form into cakes
and distribute amongst his tribe. While that accident was
devastating for a hunter-gatherer baker, through ingenuity, he
formed the concoction into cakes and advertised it as a new wonder
breakfast full of all of the natural and necessary ingredients to
benefit the health of the cave people.
While the
cakes looked appetizing, they were simply too hard and dry to
consume. They looked pretty though, and not knowing what else to do
they used them as an offering to the cave gods to insure a fruitful
harvest and after a few years of drought determined that even the
gods hated fruitcake.
Knowing
that once produced their fruitcakes were indestructible, they
decided to share them amongst themselves as birthday gifts. Soon
this practice was outlawed in cave courts so a secret fruitcake
society was started to insure the yearly distribution of the
cakes---the society of the knights of the fruitcake was born.
I think
that Ray is really a counter operative in the fruitcake lover’s
society. I think he has duped you into believing that he eats
them--------but I think he is just a collection point for
redistribution-------I have often thought that I received the same
fruitcake two years in a row.
I believe
that you believe that you like fruitcake--------it is obvious that
the fruitcakes that your mother and family made are counterfeits and
edible food and not the original fruitcakes that get passed around
every year. I think Fat Daddies thought he had a real fruitcake and
saw the antique value in it and sold it to Eddy’s Bakery, in Cut
Bank, Montana; they probably still don’t know they have a
counterfeit.
---------Oh yeah, I know you’re going to say you have eaten
fruitcake that wasn’t counterfeit, and you’re going to tell me that
you drank sea water too. After seeing your before and after photos
that you have posted, I’m inclined to think that you have discovered
the fountain of youth----------maybe it’s the fruitcake.
Sans Peur
©
12/20/2006 by Terry Sutherland
(This is the result of my recounting a story about my mother’s
famous ‘Care Packages’, which sometimes contained fruitcake at
Christmas time. Earlin C. Jones, AKA ‘Fat Daddies’, dearly loved those packages from
home. We were stationed together in the early Sixties on Cut Bank Air Force Station,
a remote radar site in northern Montana. 'Daddies' especially
awaited, with great anticipation, the Christmas packages containing the fruitcakes, in spite of
what Terry thinks. - T. P. Woodfork)